Before you read this, please take note of the following: FIL stands for father-in-law; MIL:mother-in-law and DIL:daughter in law. happy reading! =)

yesterday my MIL celebrated her birthday and as (additional) members of the family, we were present to greet her and join in on the feast. since they (my in-laws) are not computer junkies, i had to be at their place early enough so that two of her kids can call through the pc (one is in Canada, the other US). true enough, as soon as i got there, i was asked to set up the call and after doing so, well, wandered about their place and had breakfast.

all was well up until i was informed by my FIL that there was a little problem at the store (they have a business). the delivery truck was stuck at our home and his “right hand woman” was complaining about my spouse not opening up to one of the drivers. FIL was furious saying things that has been said many times over but were never really discussed between the two (FIL and spouse) of them.

caught in the middle as i was, all i could do was to reassure FIL that his son was not doing it on purpose. of course i didn’t tell him the spouse had a little too much to drink the night before. This started a long conversation between FIL and I which dealt with his feelings on his son not living up to his expectations and plenty more which have been mentioned every time something like this happens.

I cannot say that i totally agree with FIL but i cannot also say that he is out of bounds when sizing up his son. for pete’s sake they are father and son..they know each other better than i know anyone of them. but why do i get this feeling that FIL is right in so many ways. seeing the look on his face, FIL was like a little child seeking solace in the comfort of a person so close to his offspring. during the entire conversation, MIL didn’t utter a word. maybe she knows this already…or maybe they have been arguing and discerning from which side of the family did their son take off from. i could say i don’t care…that’s what i said many times over. but i must admit that I DO CARE!

i could never understand how deep the rift is between FIL and the spouse. all i remember is that FIL was against our relationship right from the beginning. mustering enough confidence and courage, i managed to turn things 360 degrees. now i can say that FIL has accepted the fact that i will never go away and that his son has chosen me and not somebody else. the spouse has always told me, “you don’t know him that well, you’re not his son (or daughter).”

TRUE. maybe i don’t…and maybe i will never get to the root of the battle. but I am also a daughter to a father and somehow my spouse’s life story doesn’t veer away too much from my own life story. i want to tell him so much however i fear that the spouse might think i’m taking sides. i have tried a million times and guess what? we end up fighting ourselves. I love my spouse very very very much. And i’ve come to love his family too no matter what their flaws are. Mine’s not perfect either…I argue with my dad over the simplest things but managed to maintain whatever relationship we have. I know FIL has, until this day and age, his impression of me not being the “perfect wife material.” well, here’s what I’ve got to say: I didn’t marry him, I married his son!

I’m sure that I am not the only one who goes through this situation. You know the feeling when you wanted so much for two people to get along but in the end everything blows up in your face and then they say it’s all your fault?! God! will this ever be resolved?! the answer: I don’t know. i just hope and pray that it will never be too late for FIL and the spouse to realize what they’ve been missing the whole time they were busy outwitting each other. conflicts such as these will never come to an end.

as for me, life goes on..the dishes will never disappear from the sink and the laundry baskets will eventually be filled. no matter where this leads, i will always remain the wife and a DIL…